An Unexpected Distraction
by Kara B
Summary: Aldwin and the SG1 Team get out of a sticky situation in a new and creative way.


An Unexpected Distraction

Co-authored by: Molly Wells & Kara B. (while on the phone, no less!)

Dedicated to Sharon, may all your dreams come true

(Molly: Is this what you had in mind when you said we should talk?

Kara: And does this count as "broadening my horizons?")

"Do those snakeheads always have to stick their noses in our business? I mean, we don't insist on going on their missions do we?" griped Jack O'Neill as the Gate opened and then snapped off to reveal the two Tok'ra representatives, Martouf and Aldwin.

They nodded in greeting at the assembled group as Martouf said, "Greetings General Hammond. We are ready to depart to the planet as soon as you wish."

General Hammond nodded up at the gate technician, who dialed in the address for P5X-2471. Five minutes later, the four members of SG-1 and two Tok'ra found themselves stealthily creeping through a Goa'uld fortress, one of the largest either group had seen in some time. Their mission was simple: gather intel on Charon, the newest Goa'uld system lord, who had recently been causing all sorts of trouble for both the SGC and Tok'ra

Moving as quickly as they could without being detected through the fortresses many chambers, the group failed to notice several shadows growing larger on the wall behind them. Rounding the corner, SG-1, Martouf and Aldwin found themselves facing at least 10 female Jaffa. Weapons drawn, they turned around to see another group of Jaffa moving toward them. They were outgunned….and trapped.

"Crap, this is not good," muttered Jack. Shots rang out, and all knew nothing more until one by one, they awoke inside a cell.

The last member of the group to come back to consciousness, Daniel moaned and snapped open his eyes, which quickly focused on the glowering form of who he could only assume was Charon, and two Jaffa guards.

Without preamble, Charon began to speak. "You will give me information regarding the Tok'ra and Earth. If you do not comply, I will have the humans implanted with Goa'uld and the Tok'ra tortured until they beg to die. You have one of your Earth hours consider my offer." With

that Charon left, and the group remained silent for a few moments until Martouf said quietly, "She will kill us whether we give her the information or not."

"Bright ray of sunshine, aren't we?" said Jack. "Fear not campers, I think I have a way to get us outta here. What say we draw straws to decide to gets the honor? There sure are enough straws in here for it."

The straws were prepared and distributed by Sam, who Jack had nominated as "Straw Hander-Outer."

Aldwin stared at the straw in his hand, not quite comprehending what its length had anything to do with the matter at hand, despite the fact that Jack had tried to explain the cultural significance of drawing straws earlier. He held it up, as if to ask and caught the smirking faces of Sam and Daniel.

"Ah, I see Al here got the short stick," Jack exclaimed.

"What is the meaning of this straw?" queried the befuddled Tok'ra.

Jack replied, in all seriousness, "Al my friend, this means you are the Chosen One."

"Guard! Would you please come over?" came a voice from the cell down the hall. One of Charon's female Jaffa guards walked down to where the prisoners were being held and growled roughly, "What is it, Tok'ra?"

"I…wish to speak with you a moment, " began Aldwin. "It is quite important, I assure you. I am willing to talk with Charon." The guard raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Usually, prisoners didn't talk until they had been tortured for at least a few hours.

"I know many things she would find useful about where the Tok'ra are and where they are planning on going next. I will provide this information if Charon agrees to let my friends go."

The guard unlocked the cell and roughly grabbed Aldwin's arm. "Very well, Tok'ra. You shall come with me, and we will see how useful Charon finds you."

Inside the cell, someone coughed. Aldwin turned around to glare at the group, all of who were suddenly very interested in different points inside the cell.

"Don't lose it, Al! You don't want to offer them too much!" yelled Jack at the Tok'ra's retreating form. To the group, he said, "He'll be fine."

Aldwin was not too gently forced to stop at the checkpoint so the guard could get clearance out of the detention area. While the guard was informing the other Jaffa of her intention to bring Aldwin before Charon, he cleared his throat quite deliberately. The two guards glanced up in time to see him begin to remove his vest with deliberate movements, easing each side over his well-built arms. He dropped the garment to his feet, and giving each guard a wink, he focused on the armor protecting his wide shoulders (the ones which have made many a female swoon in delight. Yeah, baby!)

The guards looked at each other in confusion. Had the Tok'ra suddenly taken leave of his senses? They turned their stares back to Aldwin, who lifted the armor over his head and threw it aside, causing a loud crash to echo through the detention area. Wiggling his cute widdle Tok'ra hips from side to side, Aldwin ran his hands up and down his finely muscled chest as he caught the edge of his outer garment and lifted it up. Maintaining eye contact with the guards, Aldwin swung it around and around over his head (a few times, just for good measure), and then tossed it in the direction of one of the stunned Jaffa. They didn't know what the Tok'ra's strange gestures meant, but they didn't move to stop him (wonder why that is?).

Growing ever bolder, Aldwin grabbed the collar of his undershirt with both hands and gave a mighty rip. Tearing the shirt in two, he brought the pieces up to his now sweating brow, and gently dabbed the beads of liquid away. Tossing each piece to the very interested Jaffa,

Aldwin slowly began moving closer to them, the muscles on his gorgeously sculpted body rippling with each step. He looked at them with as intense a stare as he could muster, and even forced himself to smile (Egads, not the smile! Excuse me while I go swoon…). He abruptly dropped his

pants down to his feet, earning a gasp of surprise from the guards. He slipped of his feet coverings with practiced ease, casting them aside, and with them his pants.

There Aldwin stood, wearing only the Tok'ra equivalent of boxers, in front of two red-faced, hyperventilating Jaffa guards. This Tok'ra was, to put it ever so bluntly, extremely well blessed with the most GORGEOUS body they'd ever seen. Drool began to ooze out from the corner

one of the guards' mouth.

Four pairs of eyes widened to impossible sizes as Aldwin's hands slowly strayed downward. They didn't dare move now! Slowly, slowly….

The sound of a zat gun firing twice came from the right of the Tok'ra, and the guards suddenly collapsed in a heap together. Aldwin sighed in obvious relief, his face resuming it's usual 'devoid of emotion' look.

"Don't stop there, Al! You were doing so well!" quipped Jack, as he approached the almost naked Tok'ra.

Aldwin shot a glare at SG-1's leader, but said nothing. He began gathering up his scattered clothing when Daniel suddenly asked, "So Aldwin, where did you learn to do a strip tease like that?"

Matter of factly, Aldwin replied, "On a visit to your world recently, one of your crewmen showed me a most unusual form of entertainment on a display device about playing boys." A puzzled look crossed his face as he said, "But I saw no boys playing."

A knowing look crossed Jack's face as he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean Playboy?"

Aldwin nodded in confirmation, not knowing enough about Playboy to be embarrassed, "Yes."

There were a few snickers as the bedraggled group began walking out of the detention area and toward the Stargate. Daniel said, "Boy, this is going to be an interesting report to write."

"Indeed, DanielJackson," replied Teal'c.

The End

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